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I Went Through A Cellulite Treatment That Uses Pineapples (Part 1)

Photo: Cellulite from Shutterstock

Big confession: I’ve had cellulite on the back of my thighs since age 19, and it’s gotten worse over the last few years.

As a health-conscious Millennial, I work out regularly but no matter how much I squat and lunge, it won’t go away. I’ve even tried a cream that was suppose to do the trick but that didn’t work. So, feeling defeated, I resolved to having bullet holes –as I affectionately call them– for the rest of my life. Until… I met Gloria Hinchapié, or the Patron Saint of Cellulite as I like to call her.

The Miami-based massage therapist, who is in New York City for a limited period of time, is an expert in the field with more than 30 years of experience in the beauty industry. But I was introduced to her for the Hinchapié Technique that manually breaks down fat and promises to reduce the appearance, if not completely eliminate, cellulite. To be honest I was skeptical, but curious, because of the before and after photos from the process. So I decided to check her out.

Hinchapié doesn’t speak much English but she is very nice and will make you feel as comfortable as possible. However, don’t let the sweet smile fool you. She has an iron grip. Said Patron Saint of Cellulite uses pineapple-based natural products that she formulates while massaging, kneading and encouraging your body’s circulatory system to aid in releasing toxins and eliminating the fat.

To be frank, it hurts. Seriously, it hurts.

I have a high threshold for pain and on a scale of one to ten I put this pain at about an eight. You know that cliché that says, “Beauty is pain,” right? That is extremely true in this case. I was told that many people need from ten to 30 treatments but it depends on the individual. During my first visit I was informed that I might need a full thirty days but by visit two, my body seems to have shown enough improvement to warrant hope that I’ll need less follow-up services as long as I follow their instructions for maximizing Operation Clobber the Cellulite.

In the aftermath, I was given pineapple tea to drink throughout my treatments. The goal is three tea bags a day because pineapple is a diuretic, and the more your system flushes, the better. As far as working out, I can only do Cardio (so I sweat) and Pilates. But absolutely no squatting or donkey kicks because muscle mass can actually make the cellulite look more pronounced and make it harder to get rid of– which means that the kneading will hurt much worse.

The last part of this process is diet. In addition to drinking the pineapple tea, I was told to eat as clean as possible and to drink a lot of water. The later has never been hard for me but saying no to French fries is a constant struggle so I’m working on fine-tuning my discipline for the greater good of my thighs.

I’m writing this on the eve of my third treatment so stay tuned for more updates. In the meantime, if you’d like to know more about Gloria Hinchapié services and expansion to New York, call the Dan Vie Spa where she has currently set up shop.

Starrene Rhett Rocque is a pop culture junky who often fantasizes about becoming a shotgun-toting B-movie heroine, and aspires to save the world from the impending #ZombieApocolypse… In reality she’s a freelance journalist who muses about pop culture at GangStarrGirl.com, and fitness at GruntsandGlam.com. Follow her on Twitter @GangStarrGirl.

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